Breakups are hard. Divorce devastating. How can you recover faster and bounce back stronger?
Logically we sometimes know that ending a relationship is best, but then when we add emotions into that logic, we can crash down and become confused, feel dejected, lost and alone. You may want to understand why it happened or why it ended now? Here are 5 Steps to Recover Faster from that Break-Up.
There is the mourning process dealing with the grief and loss of that relationship. Firstly, you may go through shock, disbelief, then the bargaining starts. The ‘if only’ I did or said that instead, the ‘what if’ this or that was different. We can spend so long bargaining and the only meaningful purpose of that is for learning. How next time to perhaps do things differently. That is what a relationship end does allow. A reassessment of what the relationship was like, what was good and what was bad. The behaviours you displayed you may want to adjust, the criteria you set to ensure your next choice is better for you.
The one thing everyone needs to realise is that a relationship does not usually end due to only one person, it ends because there was an issue between the two of you. Maybe there was a difference in desires, morals, values, priorities in life, and this does not make anyone right or wrong, it makes you different. Sometimes different can work well and at other times different can’t work, depending on the degree and standard of different.
There is nothing necessarily WRONG with you. Have a soulful search about the relationship, your behaviours and responses, how you handled certain situations and if you believe you could have done things better or differently, take those learnings, implement them and grow. Spend no more than a couple of weeks reassessing, then allow it to subside and flow away. Obsessing is damaging.
Then again, maybe it was the other person’s shocking behaviour or reactions, the disregard, their uncaring behaviour. Whatever was displayed, using this as a way to set your criteria, to know what it is you want and need in any new partner in time to come.
Dealing with the grief and loss after a breakup is not able to be processed immediately and is not usually solved with a litre of ice-cream or shots of alcohol. It is a process to work through. You can use this time to re-evaluate what you need, who you are and the benefits you can provide to another partner’s life when someone is lucky enough to win your heart again. You know you are loveable, you know you can love, so, therefore, you must know that when the time is right, you can and will again. Sometimes we want it now, immediately, soon, yet sometimes the universe wants us to spend time processing and preparing for something better and happier ahead.
These 5 steps will help you recover faster from the breakup:
- Understand it is alright to feel sad for a while
No anti-depressant will take away this temporary feeling of dejection, aloneness or sadness. It is part of your processing. Go through it, and allow it to pass naturally, and it will. If it is taking more than a few months, obtain some professional Counselling to help the process move faster. It is amazing how quickly you can proceed, once you know how. I always recommend the Relationship Recovery session to enable you to break that connection and move on faster.
- Relax and enjoy yourself
We often put our partner as a priority when together, use this time for you. Do what you want, go where you wish, spend time with whoever you desire. Start a new activity or hobby, soak for hours in a bubble bath, watch the movies or series your partner may have hated. Spend time for you, do what it is you have wanted to do.
- Spend time with friends and family
Connect or reconnect with your friends. These are the people who know how great you really are. They can alleviate any feeling of aloneness, help you laugh, accompany you on a variety of getaways or days out.
- Develop Self Belief and Change Perspective
You deserve to be happy. The ex may have ended the relationship with you, so it was their choice, let them own that decision. You may never fully know why and that is OK, reasons are often deep and sometimes not even understood. You can also make your decision, to get over them and move on happier, stronger and more prepared.
- Things always happen for a reason; we just don’t know the reason initially
The universe is a strange and beautiful place. We can’t control another person or their actions; we can, however, control our own. This is a time for acceptance and a time for excitement as to what the future will hold. While it may be hard at the moment, I would like you to close your eyes, take a slow deep breath and imagine your future three years from now. See yourself happy, successful and loved. See it, feel it, hear it. This will come true for you.
Recovery from any breakup is challenging, even perhaps heartbreaking, yet moving on can enable you to become stronger, wiser and more prepared. Use this event as a learning, take the learnings into your future to become happier and successful. Speed up that recovery by using the Relationship Recovery session to break any old connections you felt. For the price of a couple of cups of coffee, you can sit back, relax and allow the healing to complete. It will be the best time you ever spent.
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