Staying in Love Can Be Easy…if you understand how
When we meet someone, we see all his or her good, incredible and beautiful parts.
When we are dating we all ensure we put our best foot forward, mind our behaviour and language, be courteous, respectful, friendly, mindful, appreciate and guarantee they see the best parts of us.
When we get to know this person and fall in love with them we hope we see all of them, exactly how they are and they see exactly who you are and then both say—I still choose you.
Falling in love isn’t a choice; it’s an illogical chain of events that just happens, it is a strong chemical reaction. It can happen slowly or quickly. Falling in love is the easy part — the excitement that comes with learning what makes another person tick and the equally terrifying reality of exposing yourself to the other person, showing your vulnerability to them.
It’s easy to fall in love with somebody for all their wonderful qualities: they may be smart, sexy, funny, have an amazing body, be gorgeous to look at, even wealthy. All these things are easy to love. Staying in love is the hard part that many couples struggle with over the years. As life continues together it can become more mundane, work becomes more challenging and children may come along to add more pressure onto the relationship.
The couple now knows each other so very well, warts and all. The pretense is gone; vulnerabilities exposed and true personalities appear. The things you may have let slide may now annoy you. The behaviours you tolerated are now exhausting you. How then do you remain in love and lust when daily life becomes harder and more routine?
Appreciate. We all need to appreciate the effort our partner puts in and ensure we recognise and appreciate them. We start to understand the perfect person does have some flaws because no one is perfect regardless of how we originally saw them. We stay in our relationship or marriage because we made that choice.
While no one can force us or make us stay, we choose to stay each and every day. You still love this person regardless of their imperfections as they hopefully still love us. We share our lives, all parts of our life, the experiences we created, the friends and family we share. We are a unit. While there is often comfort and safety being in this unit we still only stay if we are happy and if we choose. How then to we ensure we stay happy and our partner remains happy?
Top 10 Tips to remain in love:
- Do things for them, both big and small and do them often
Appreciate them for all the things they do
Recognise their efforts
Remember the special days and anniversaries
Make an effort for them to ensure they are happy
Speak respectfully and nicely
Be considerate of their feelings and emotions
Discuss how they feel and how you feel
Find solutions to problems instead of just continually going over the problem
Smile, hug and tell your partner you love them each day.
Love is saying I see you and I notice you, with all your idiosyncrasies and as you exactly are. Appreciate and recognise all they are and all they do as they reciprocate this for you. This is how we stay happy in love together forever.