Silver Singles

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The mature Silver Singles sector is increasing at a considerable rate as the divorce rate for the over sixty age group has doubled in the past decade.

What do we do when we find ourselves single again, sometimes after thirty or forty years of marriage. Where do we go, how can we meet other mature singles, do I want to date again, should I date again? So many questions, where do I find any answers.

We are fortunate enough now to have dating sites, so we do not have to go to the local tavern or club to meet someone. We can sit at home, put in all relevant details about yourself and what we are seeking, before searching through a variety of different matched people.

We then get to select to connect or not. We decide to meet or not. We, in fact, can make all the decisions in the comfort of our own home without embarrassment or rejection – yet.

The fear of dating can freeze us. We may be confident at home in front of our computer but then what. We have connected with a like-minded attractive person. We need to meet them. This is when the panic can commence.
• What do we wear?
• Where should we meet?
• What do I say?
• Have I chosen well?
• What if they don’t like me?
• What if I don’t like them or want to stay?
• Who pays?

So many questions, so much confusion. Starting back onto the dating scene is frightening.

What we need to ascertain is what it is we do and do not want. The type of person we would like to meet, the type of relationship we may want. Do we want someone still working, retired, with a large family, with the same interests as me, same religious affiliations, so many things to consider.

There are a number of dating sites for the mature age group. These are just some of the many people register with and include:
Elite Singles
Single 60’s
Older dating on-line

Then, of course, you have eHarmony which is one of our biggest sites in Australia and caters for all ages.

You complete the profile, select the requirements of your prospective match and search, wait, and connect. It usually doesn’t take long before you either find an interest or someone finds you. Now what?

Now what?

Don’t worry; everyone feels nervous, hesitant, scared. This is a perfectly normal emotional development. It often doesn’t matter on how many dates you go on; it remains the same. If you are lacking a degree of Self-confidence, try the Self-Confidence session from Virtual Hypnotherapy to boost your confidence and fortitude.

By going through the questions above can assist you to decide where to meet, when to meet and who will pay. I also suggest you each pay for yourself on the first meet-up and always have an exit plan. By an exit plan I mean if you arrive on your meet-up and it goes very wrong, you need a safe exit. The person may not fit the description given in looks, personality, values, standards, interest, age, etc. and you just want to run away, then make sure you have a friend on standby you can text or call from the bathroom. This friend will phone you back a minute or two later with a ‘message’ you need to return home due to a situation or emergency. This way you can apologise respectfully and exit, and you won’t crush their soul. An exit plan always provides a safe exit.

You may need to decide if you are seeking a friend, companion or lover. All this can make a difference in the person you connect with. If you only want a companion and they are after a husband or wife, then you have already started off poorly. Make sure you set your criteria and requirements when filling in the profile forms and on initial discussions. Even though you may only want a companion, you may find the friendship develops into something far deeper and romantic.

Get Your FREE  Relationship Essentials Checklist Here to ensure you and your partner are perfect together

The next point is to avoid talking about yourself too much initially. Have the conversation about the other person. This way you can remain aloof and can find out a lot of information about them. Make sure their profile description fits their answers. Ask lots of questions as we always like to talk about ourselves and they should be happy to respond to your interest in them. If you are asked questions by them, as you are likely to be, answer briefly before returning the conversation back to them.

This can stop the other person finding out a lot about you if you decide not to pursue the relationship or friendship. You may not want them knowing about your family, where you live or work or what you enjoy doing. Leave these personal details out until you feel comfortable and get to know them better; you don’t want a stalker after all.

Telling them you are divorced, have three grown children, perhaps a grandchild or two is enough. You need not share their names, suburb or type of work they do. Same with yourself, basic information only. Not wanting to scare you but you are yet to know this person, they are a stranger.

If the date goes well and you decide to meet again, repeat the above points to meet, have an exit plan and only release some additional information, but certainly, ask them more questions. The more you ask, the more information you obtain.

One warning. Please stick to Australian only sites as there is a minefield of people from overseas trying to take advantage of single mature people and they can sometimes pretend to be living here. Ensure you try to connect to someone more local to get the chance to meet them in person. Never, never give or lend money to anyone if they ask. Sometimes their stories appear valid, so please involve your family and friends as they often see things you may miss if too close to this person.

The following tips may help you when you first meet:

  1. Make sure you have been honest in your description and photo
  2. Meet somewhere public, never at either person’s home
  3. Always pay for yourself on the first date or two
  4. Drive yourself, never get picked up
  5. Have an escape or exit plan
  6. Wear something attractive, comfortable and flattering
  7. Make directions and time clear to avoid mishaps
  8. Talk about them
  9. Refrain from giving personal details about yourself, your life, your family until you have spent some time together

Many people have lost their self-confidence when thinking about dating again or even thinking about getting out into the community alone. I strongly suggest using the  Hypnotherapy session on developing your Self-Confidence. It allows you to regain your strength, confidence and ability to meet these new challenges.

Get Your FREE  Relationship Essentials Checklist Here to ensure you and your partner are perfect together

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