Should your marriage or relationship be based on looks?

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While we are often attracted to the person’s outside appearance when we meet, does this slowly dissolve into loving what they have on the inside only?

Does it remain relevant to want an attractive body to love?

Time is often not kind to our bodies. Gravity takes over, skin becomes looser; children scars are noticeable, weight often increases and hair can disappear into baldness. Sure we can whinge and whine about what we use to look like, but there is little we can do – or is there?

We do not so much have control over the shape, the skin, the wrinkles; but we do have a degree of control over our health, our weight and our activity level.

Yes, our bodies all change, age ensures this. Sure we can do what we can to prevent some of it. We can stay out of the sun, wear hats, exercise more, eat well, consume less alcohol, don’t’ do drugs or smoke…and the list goes on. The simple fact is whatever we do or don’t do can’t change the fact we all grow older, less firm, and saggier, sad as it is, it is life.

How often have we heard stories of the older male executive running off with, the younger secretary leaving, the older wife and children? Sure it can go the other way, just not so much. What is it these fellows are chasing, another young body? Obviously. Is this shallow – usually.

Surely we mature intelligent adult human beings can understand whatever happens on the outside will happen to us all. Of course, we can keep ourselves as healthy and fit as we possibly can, I applaud this.

Worrying about the decline of our bodies can be consuming. It is distressing at times when we look in the mirror as we get older, very confronting. If we become conned by the magazine pictures, which are photoshopped to look good, and compare ourselves to them, we are foolish. The rich, famous, talented, are all aging too. Their skin droops, their wrinkles become deeper – unless Botox is used.

We are all getting older every year. Do what you can to allay this process for sure, no one looks forward to it. Keep in mind, however, that as you age, so does your partner. We need to remove ourselves from looking at the external wrapping of a body and see more what is inside. The kindness, the care, support, memories, fun, laughter and everything else we have shared together.

If you feel your relationship needs to be revitalised, then do it. Take some steps to reconnect as the years of child raising and career building can often see us un-attach. We often do lose touch with this person with whom we fell in love. If we take the time together, for each other to recouple again, it should make no difference how our body ages, we can be secure knowing we understand our partner and they love us just the way we are.

I implore those needing to reconnect to do it sooner rather than later. Sometimes later is just too late.

Enjoy the inevitable journey of life and all the changes it brings.

www.drkarenphillip.com