We all seem to chase it, we all really want it, but it seems if you look at the statistics, we often can’t find it. It is Happiness.
More people than ever before are on anti-depressant medication, more people are stressed, divorce rates continue to climb, family courts are overflowing, aggression is escalating yet we all strive for this hunt for Happiness. The problem seems to be our definition of what happiness is to each of us. Most clients I speak with struggle defining what the word Happiness means to them yet continue to voice this is what they want.
If I asked you to sit quietly, clear your mind for a moment and obtain your definition of happiness….. what would that be to you? We may have an idea, expect we know what others definition is, yet to really understand our definition, to break it down, to voice it, dissect it, to understand exactly what happiness means to us can be a challenge. Yet we continue to chase this elusive happiness.
We spend time searching for it, spend money trying to achieve it, we go on holiday, we go out, we do activities, spend time in the day spa, read books, visit a retreat, even do meditation while the irony is, we do all this continuing to chase this Happiness.
Happiness can come in a variety of forms and at times all these forms may not equal out. We may be happy with our kids, yet not happy with our extended family; we may be happy in our relationship yet struggle with happiness at work or career. So often we have pockets of happiness yet we are consumed and focus only on that negative part.
To Help Find Your Happiness Improving Your Self-Confidence can help
Is it, therefore, the happiness we pursue or is it the desire to feel OK in our life. Then we may ask would contentment satisfy?
It all sounds so complex however we most all dream of the same result, to feel happy, enjoy life, have wonderful relationships with all those in our life and to enjoy what we do.
We enjoy our leisure or down time when we can get it and many forgo it due to family or work commitments. We need leisure time; we must have that break. Many people think of leisure as doing nothing, relaxing or chilling out somewhere quiet. Leisure can be about energy, excitement and engagement.
Then we have contentment. Is this happiness? It can be for many people and it may be enough. What you want is one thing, what you need may be something else. If we achieve what it is we need we can then pursue what we want, it is always in that order. It can also be relevant to your place and time in life, decisions you have made, choices you have selected. Where you are now in life does not define where you may be next month, year or decade.
We often look at our life where we currently are and believe this is it; we are stuck. No, we are never stuck as we all have free choice. The choice to decide what to do and when. Certainly, we may have commitments yet these will change as well, so we are never stuck in the one place forever.
Having a plan, or pursuit to find happiness is crucial. We can
- broaden our life
- make different decisions
- change jobs
- learn a new skill
- take up a new hobby or sport
- make new friends
- develop more skills to improve our relationship
- volunteer for a purpose
- show kindness is all you do
The only reason we remain stuck is due to our choice to remain or not knowing how to move away from this stuck state.
We may need a more detailed plan and to utilise friends or family, even a professional Counsellor to help guide and support you.
Happiness is an abstract word that can mean many different things. Feeling happy every day in every area of your life can be achieved. It is the expectation we place on this feeling of happiness that can hurt us. Perhaps feeling content with where you are or what you are doing is enough. Taking charge and planning to do something different to improve this feeling of contentment, so it evolves into happiness.
Staying where you are, stuck, complaining or feeling sorry for yourself can guarantee you will remain exactly where you are. Asking yourself those important questions of what it is you need, then want, followed by how do I get it and what steps must I take for this to transpire, is a start. We never need to remain where we feel stuck.
Take some time to think, reflect and decide what it is you can learn to do differently to get a better more satisfying result. Determine this and work towards learning how to achieve it. Once we can do this happiness often develops.
Spend time to consider the happy areas of your life rather than focus on the less happy areas. Concentrating on those happy areas and finding additional happy parts can allow us to find more happiness and contentment in our lives. Understand you are not stuck in the one place forever. Things change, time passes, people come and go and experiences educate us. This is life. Live each day to the fullest and embrace those happy times.
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